I Have a Confession

I have a confession to make. . last night watching a movie named, Southpaw, with my girlfriend — I lost it.

Out of nowhere, I broke down and balled. As I cried, I was caught by surprise, but SouthPaw was stirring my emotions from the beginning.

(Have you ever watched a movie and felt as if you understand the angst the actor is portraying? Because you’ve actually lived through similar circumstances. Yup, that was me last night.)


“There are moments that trigger past events and catch us unexpectedly, and that’s okay. They’re reminders of internal scars and reminders to never forget the lessons learned.”


Years ago, being incarcerated and separated from my daughters and family, I felt powerless and controlled by unfortunate circumstances. Learning through mistakes in the midst of disempowering circumstances helps us find clarity and a new identity. What defines us is — how we react to the unfortunate situations.

Hearing my daughters pleas over the phone while incarcerated was complete torture, I felt utter helplessness in those moments. As I watched the movie, Southpaw, a specific scene erupted and stirred emotions I’d rather not relive, but that eruption reminded me of the lesson.

“No matter how hard things get, we always have a choice to see the lesson, or see the curse. We choose by our focus.”

(How did I overcome those emotions back then you might wonder? It was not easy by any stretch.)

Overcoming helplessness first began by understanding and being fully aware of how emotions work, then choosing to focus on the empowering part of the lesson. I learned that appreciating my freedom to interact and spend time with loved ones, is absolutely priceless and should not ever be taken for granted, this was a huge takeaway for me.

Spending time writing and calling loved ones as much as possible, while incarcerated, calmed emotions and gave me new skills and perspective. I’d learn the price of our time and personal freedom. Spending time constructively towards self-growth was a choice that paid off and I highly recommend for anyone.

Even though I lost it for a second, watching Southpaw, we comforted the internal scars and gratefully looked back to how far we’ve come out of the storm. That perspective was enough to jolt greater joy for the future and beyond.


Coaching Tip:

Are you in a funk? Or feel alone and helpless?

I’ve been there and I’m sure I’ll be there again. What gives the confidence and faith to go through challenging times easier than before, simple. Read below.


  • Chaos is temporary – storms might feel as if they take forever, but by changing our perspective they can pass quickly as we recover learn to recover faster.
  • We’re not alone – We aren’t the first who has gone through chaos and crisis and won’t be the last. Using our faith in a higher purpose and finding a support system empowers this belief.
  • Where light exists, darkness disappears – By being grateful and uplifting to others, in spite of our own situation, we allow gratitude and a servant attitude to light the way.
  • We grow the most from tough challenges – If it was easy we’d forget the gift of the lesson. Chaotic events serve the best lessons and prepare us for the harsher challenges ahead.
  • Everything is a gift – Seeing everything as a blessing and not a curse everything. As cheesy as this sounds, tough times shift with this new perspective.

If this brought awareness and or a personal shift please share and comment.



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